Biker in the News

A Harley biker is visiting the zoo in Calgary, Alberta when he sees a little girl leaning into the bars of the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents.The biker without hesitation runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.
Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.
A CBC reporter has watched the whole event. The reporter addressing the biker says, 'Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I've seen a man do in my whole life.'The Harley rider replies, 'Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger and acted as I felt right.'
The reporter says, 'Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a journalist, you know, and tomorrow's paper will have this story on the front page... So, what do you do for a living and what political affiliation do you have?'
The biker replies, 'I'm a soldier in the Canadian military and a Conservative.' The journalist leaves.The following morning the biker buys the paper to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads, on the front page:

CANADIAN SOLDIER ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT - AND STEALS HIS LUNCH.

That pretty much sums up the media's approach to the news these days.

CTV

Well, A Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other,
And finally they got married, and had a little sweet potato, which they

Called 'Yam.'

Of course, they wanted the best for Yam.

When it was time, they told her about the facts of life.

They warned her about going out
and

getting half-baked, so she wouldn't get accidentally mashed, and get a
bad
name for herself like 'Hot Potato,' and end up with a bunch of

Tater Tots

Yam said not to worry, no Spud would get her into the sack and make a
rotten potato out of her!

But on the other hand she
wouldn't stay home and become a Couch Potato either.

She would get
plenty of exercise so as not to be skinny like her Shoestring Cousins.

When she went off to Europe, Mr. and Mrs. Potato told Yam
to watch out for the hard-boiled guys from Ireland .

And the
greasy guys from France called the French Fries. And when she went out
to Western Canada

to watch out for the Indians so she wouldn't get scalloped.

Yam said she would stay on the straight and narrow
And wouldn't associate with those high class Yukon Golds, or the ones
from the other
Side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all the trucks that say,

'Frito Lay.'

Mr. And Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho P.U. (that's
Potato University ) so that when she graduated she'd really

be in the Chips.

But in spite of all they did for her, one day Yam came home
And announced she was going to marry Lloyd Robertson.

Lloyd Robertson!

Mr. and Mrs. Potato were very upset.

They told
Yam she couldn't possibly
marry Lloyd Robertson
because he's just.......

Are you ready for this?

Are you sure?

OK! Here it is!

A COMMONTATER