Doctor jokes

“Doctor, you told me I have a month to live and then you sent me a bill for $1,000! I can’t pay that before the end of the month!”“Okay, you have six months to live.”

AA historian Mel B. (sober 1950)

told hisstory at the Michiana Conference in South Bend,Indiana, a year ago, in 2007 Mel B. was the primary author of Pass It On,the conference biography of Bill W., also see: http://www.walkindryplaces.com/books.html <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/books.html> http://www.walkindryplaces.com/articles.html /*Mel B.'s Articles */ * Articles:
1. AA and Jesus <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/AA%20and%20Jesus.html>
2. Love's Ingredients <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/Loves%20Ingredients.htm>
3. Let Go and Let God <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/Let%20Go.htm>
4. The Search for Self-Approval <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/SelfApproval.htm>
5. AAs Should Be Honest About Sex Problems <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/Sex.htm>
6. Gossip <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/Gossip.htm>
7. Beware the Sound of Blaring Trumpets <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/Beware.htm>
8. Thoughts Are Things <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/Thoughts.htm>
9. Memories <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/Memories.htm>
10. Those Lost Years <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/Lost%20Years.htm>
11. The Will and the Way <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/The%20Will%20and%20the%20Way.htm>
12. The One-Minute Solution <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/One%20Minute%20Solution.htm>
13. The Green Demon <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/Green%20Demon.htm>
14. The Dreamer and the Dawn <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/Dreamer%20and%20the%20Dawn.html>
15. The Broken Pulley <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/Broken%20Pulley.htm>
16. That Day on the Bridge <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/That%20Day%20on%20the%20Bridge.htm>
17. Step Over to the Nearest Barroom <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/Barroom.htm>
18. Something About the Eyes <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/Something%20about%20the%20eyes.htm>
19. Requiem for a Resentment <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/Requiem.htm>
20. Put Yourself in a New Frame of Mind <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/New%20Frame%20of%20Mind.htm>
21. Night Owl Gets Diploma <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/Night%20Owl.htm>
22. My Name is...Melvin <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/Melvin.htm>
23. The AA Tom Swifty <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/Tom%20Swifty.htm>
24. The 12 Symptoms of My Alcoholism <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/12%20Symptoms.htm>
25. AA's Roots in the Oxford Group <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/Oxford%20Group.htm>
26. Getting Along With Yourself and Others <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/Getting%20Along.htm>*
*27. Easy <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/Easy.htm>
**28. Cosmic Consciousness <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/Cosmic.htm>
**29. Beyond the Self <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/Beyond.htm>
**30. El Sombrero <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/Sombrero.htm>
**31. Anger!. . . A Symptom of Wrong Thinking <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/Anger.htm>
**32. Humility <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/Humility.htm>
**33. More Power to You <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/More%20Power%20to%20You.htm>
**34. Inventory is Today <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/Inventory%20is%20Today.htm>
**35. First Law <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/First%20Law.htm>
**36. Ebby <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/Ebby%20Article.htm>
**37. Why God Says No <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/Why%20God%20Says%20No.htm>
**38. Why I Keep Coming Back <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/Why%20I%20Keep%20Coming%20Back.htm>
**39. The Serenity Prayer <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/Serenity%20Prayer.htm>
**40. Self-Esteem <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/Self-Esteem.htm>
**41. Rejection <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/Rejection.htm>
**42. Public Controversy <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/Public%20Controversy.htm>
**43. Power to Solve Your Problems <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/Power%20to%20Solve%20Your%20Problems.htm>
**44. From Perfectionism to Perfection <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/Perfectionism.htm>
**45. People and Principles <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/People%20and%20Principles.htm>
**46. 9th Step <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/9th%20Step.htm>
**47. Mental Depression--Unnecessary Evil <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/Mental%20Depression.htm>
**48. Is That Resentment Necessary? <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/Resentment.htm>
**49. Let's Talk About Material Things <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/Material%20Things.htm>
**50. Open-Meeting Bores <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/Bores.htm>
**51. Gentle Drunks <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/gentle.htm>
**52. Leroy's Language <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/Leroy.htm>
**53. Long Live the Wimp <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/Wimp.htm>
* Website Index: Home <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/index.html>
Mel B.'s books <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/books.html>
How to Order Author's Books <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/orders.html> (Autographed copies, if requested)
Other books author recommends <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/bibliography.html> Author's background <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/bio.html>
Bill W. at Dr. Bob's Gravesite <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/Bill.html>
Links <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/links.html>
*Mel B.4800 Turnbridge CircleToledo, OH 43623419.882.7868**Email Mel B. simply click here. <melb@accesstoledo.com?subject=From%20Main%20page%20of%20Walk%20in%20Dry%20Places%20website>
Home <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/index.html>
About the Author <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/bio.html>
Books <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/books.html>
Ordering <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/orders.html>
Bibliography <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/bibliography.html>
Articles <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/articles.html>
Links <http://www.walkindryplaces.com/links.html>*
http://www.walkindryplaces.com/AA%20and%20Jesus.htmlAA historian Mel B. (sober 1950) told his story at the Michiana Conference in South Bend, Indiana, a year ago, in 2007 Mel B. was the primary author of Pass It On, the conference biography of Bill W., also see: http://www.walkindryplaces.com/books.html http://www.walkindryplaces.com/articles.html
Mel B.'s Articles



Articles:
1. AA and Jesus
2. Love's Ingredients
3. Let Go and Let God
4. The Search for Self-Approval
5. AAs Should Be Honest About Sex Problems
6. Gossip
7. Beware the Sound of Blaring Trumpets
8. Thoughts Are Things
9. Memories
10. Those Lost Years
11. The Will and the Way
12. The One-Minute Solution
13. The Green Demon
14. The Dreamer and the Dawn
15. The Broken Pulley
16. That Day on the Bridge
17. Step Over to the Nearest Barroom
18. Something About the Eyes
19. Requiem for a Resentment
20. Put Yourself in a New Frame of Mind
21. Night Owl Gets Diploma
22. My Name is...Melvin
23. The AA Tom Swifty
24. The 12 Symptoms of My Alcoholism
25. AA’s Roots in the Oxford Group
26. Getting Along With Yourself and Others


27. Easy
28. Cosmic Consciousness
29. Beyond the Self
30. El Sombrero
31. Anger!. . . A Symptom of Wrong Thinking
32. Humility
33. More Power to You
34. Inventory is Today
35. First Law
36. Ebby
37. Why God Says No
38. Why I Keep Coming Back
39. The Serenity Prayer
40. Self-Esteem
41. Rejection
42. Public Controversy
43. Power to Solve Your Problems
44. From Perfectionism to Perfection
45. People and Principles
46. 9th Step
47. Mental Depression--Unnecessary Evil
48. Is That Resentment Necessary?
49. Let's Talk About Material Things
50. Open-Meeting Bores
51. Gentle Drunks
52. Leroy's Language
53. Long Live the Wimp

Website Index:Home
Mel B.'s booksHow to Order Author's Books (Autographed copies, if requested)Other books author recommends
Author's background
Bill W. at Dr. Bob's GravesiteLinks

St. Faustina (1905-1938)

St. Mary Faustina's name is forever linked to the annual feast of the Divine Mercy (celebrated on the Second Sunday of Easter), the divine mercy chaplet and the divine mercy prayer recited each day by many people at 3 p.m.
Born in what is now west-central Poland (part of Germany before World War I), Helena was the third of 10 children. After age 16 she worked as a housekeeper in three cities before joining the Congregation of the Sisters of Our Lady of Mercy in 1925. She worked as a cook, gardener and porter in three of their houses.
In addition to carrying out her work faithfully, generously serving the needs of the sisters and the local people, she also had a deep interior life. This included receiving revelations from the Lord Jesus, messages that she recorded in her diary at the request of Christ and of her confessors.
At a time when some Catholics had an image of God as such a strict judge that they might be tempted to despair about the possibility of being forgiven, Jesus chose to emphasize his mercy and forgiveness for sins acknowledged and confessed. “I do not want to punish aching mankind,” he once told St. Mary Faustina, “but I desire to heal it, pressing it to my merciful heart” (Diary 1588). The two rays emanating from Christ's heart, she said, represent the blood and water poured out after Jesus' death (Gospel of John 19:34)
Because Sister Mary Faustina knew that the revelations she had already received did not constitute holiness itself, she wrote in her diary: “Neither graces, nor revelations, nor raptures, nor gifts granted to a soul make it perfect, but rather the intimate union of the soul with God. These gifts are merely ornaments of the soul, but constitute neither its essence nor its perfection. My sanctity and perfection consist in the close union of my will with the will of God” (Diary 1107).
Sister Mary Faustina died of tuberculosis in Krakow, Poland, on October 5, 1938. Pope John Paul II beatified her in 1993 and canonized her in 2000.

St. Francis of Assisi (1182-1226)

Francis of Assisi was a poor little man who astounded and inspired the Church by taking the gospel literally—not in a narrow fundamentalist sense, but by actually following all that Jesus said and did, joyfully, without limit and without a mite of self-importance.
Serious illness brought the young Francis to see the emptiness of his frolicking life as leader of Assisi's youth. Prayer—lengthy and difficult—led him to a self-emptying like that of Christ, climaxed by embracing a leper he met on the road. It symbolized his complete obedience to what he had heard in prayer: "Francis! Everything you have loved and desired in the flesh it is your duty to despise and hate, if you wish to know my will. And when you have begun this, all that now seems sweet and lovely to you will become intolerable and bitter, but all that you used to avoid will turn itself to great sweetness and exceeding joy."
From the cross in the neglected field-chapel of San Damiano, Christ told him, "Francis, go out and build up my house, for it is nearly falling down." Francis became the totally poor and humble workman.
He must have suspected a deeper meaning to "build up my house." But he would have been content to be for the rest of his life the poor "nothing" man actually putting brick on brick in abandoned chapels. He gave up every material thing he had, piling even his clothes before his earthly father (who was demanding restitution for Francis' "gifts" to the poor) so that he would be totally free to say, "Our Father in heaven." He was, for a time, considered to be a religious "nut," begging from door to door when he could not get money for his work, bringing sadness or disgust to the hearts of his former friends, ridicule from the unthinking.
But genuineness will tell. A few people began to realize that this man was actually trying to be Christian. He really believed what Jesus said: "Announce the kingdom! Possess no gold or silver or copper in your purses, no traveling bag, no sandals, no staff" (see Luke 9:1-3).
Francis' first rule for his followers was a collection of texts from the Gospels. He had no idea of founding an order, but once it began he protected it and accepted all the legal structures needed to support it. His devotion and loyalty to the Church were absolute and highly exemplary at a time when various movements of reform tended to break the Church's unity.
He was torn between a life devoted entirely to prayer and a life of active preaching of the Good News. He decided in favor of the latter, but always returned to solitude when he could. He wanted to be a missionary in Syria or in Africa, but was prevented by shipwreck and illness in both cases. He did try to convert the sultan of Egypt during the Fifth Crusade.
During the last years of his relatively short life (he died at 44) he was half blind and seriously ill. Two years before his death, he received the stigmata, the real and painful wounds of Christ in his hands, feet and side.
On his deathbed, he said over and over again the last addition to his Canticle of the Sun, "Be praised, O Lord, for our Sister Death." He sang Psalm 141, and at the end asked his superior to have his clothes removed when the last hour came and for permission to expire lying naked on the earth, in imitation of his Lord.