A firefighter and a little girl

A firefighter was working on the engine outside the station, when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little
red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides, and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.
The girl was wearing a firefighters helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat.
The firefighter walked over to take a closer look.
'That sure is a nice fire truck,' the firefighter said with admiration.
'Thanks,' the girl replied.
The firefighter looked a little closer. the girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.
'Little partner,' the firefighter said, 'I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you
were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster.'
The little girl replied thoughtfully, 'You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren.'

CATHOLIC HORSES

One day while he was at the track playing the ponies and all but losing his
shirt, Mitch noticed a priest who stepped out onto the track and blessed the
forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race.

Lo and behold, that horse - a very long shot - won the race..

Before the next race, as the horses began lining up, Mitch watched with
interest the old priest step onto the track. Sure enough, as the 5th race
horses came to the starting gate the priest made a blessing on the forehead
of one of the horses.

Mitch made a beeline for a betting window and placed a small bet on the
horse. Again, even though it was another long shot, the horse the priest
had blessed won the race.

Mitch collected his winnings, and anxiously waited to see which horse the
priest would bless for the 6th race. The priest again blessed a horse.

Mitch bet big on it, and it won. Mitch was elated.. As the races continued
the priest kept blessing long shot horses, and each one ended up coming in
first.

By and by, Mitch was pulling in some serious money. By the last race, he
knew his wildest dreams were going to come true. He made a quick dash to the
ATM, withdrew all his savings, and awaited the priest's blessing that would
tell him which horse to bet on.

True to his pattern, the priest stepped onto the track for the last race and
blessed the forehead of an old nag that was the longest shot of the day.
Mitch also observed the priest blessing the eyes, ears, and hooves of the
old nag.

Mitch knew he had a winner and bet every cent he owned on the old nag.

He then watched dumbfounded as the old nag come in dead last. Mitch, in a
state of shock, made his way down to the track area where the priest was.

Confronting the old priest he demanded, 'Father! What happened?

All day long you blessed horses and they all won. Then in the last race, the
horse you blessed lost by a Kentucky mile. Now, thanks to you I've lost
every cent of my savings -- all of it!'.

The priest nodded wisely and with sympathy. 'Son,' he said, 'that's the
problem with you Protestants, you can't tell the difference between a simple
blessing and last rites.'