St. John Joseph of the Cross (1654-1734)

Self-denial is never an end in itself but is only a help toward greater charity—as the life of Saint John Joseph shows.

John Joseph was very ascetic even as a young man. At 16 he joined the Franciscans in Naples; he was the first Italian to follow the reform movement of Saint Peter Alcantara. John’s reputation for holiness prompted his superiors to put him in charge of establishing a new friary even before he was ordained.

Obedience moved John to accept appointments as novice master, guardian and, finally, provincial. His years of mortification enabled him to offer these services to the friars with great charity. As guardian he was not above working in the kitchen or carrying the wood and water needed by the friars.

When his term as provincial expired, John Joseph dedicated himself to hearing confessions and practicing mortification, two concerns contrary to the spirit of the dawning Age of Enlightenment. John Joseph was canonized in 1839.

Jokes can be said in church

Attending a wedding for the first time,
a little girl whispered to her mother,
'Why is the bride dressed in white?''


The mother replied, 'Because white is
the color of happiness, and today is the
happiest day of her life.'


The child thought about this for a
moment then said, 'So why is the groom
wearing black?'


~~~~~~~~~~~~


A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best,
was running as fast as she could, trying
not to be late for Bible class. As she ran
she prayed, 'Dear Lord, please don't let
me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let
me be late!'


While she was running and praying, she
tripped on a curb and fell, getting her
clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She
got up, brushed herself off, and started
running again! As she ran she once again
began to pray, 'Dear Lord, please don't
let me be late...But please don't shove
me either!'


~~~~~~~~~~~~


Three boys are in the school yard bragging
about their fathers. The first boy says, 'My
Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of
paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.'


The second boy says, 'That's nothing. My
Dad scribbles a few words on piece of
paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100.'


The third boy says, 'I got you both beat.
My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece
of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes
eight people to collect all the money!'


~~~~~~~~~~~~


An elderly woman died last month. Having
never married, she requested no male
pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions
for her memorial service, she wrote, 'They
wouldn't take me out while I was alive,
I don't want them to take me out when
I'm dead.'


~~~~~~~~~~~~


A police recruit was asked during the
exam, 'What would you do if you had
to arrest your own mother?' He answered,
'Call for backup.'


~~~~~~~~~~~~


A Sunday School teacher asked her class
why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with
them to Jerusalem . A small child replied,
'They couldn't get a baby-sitter.'


~~~~~~~~~~~~


A Sunday school teacher was discussing
the Ten Commandments with her five
and six year olds. After explaining the
commandment to 'Honor thy father and
thy mother,' she asked, 'Is there a
commandment that teaches us how
to treat our brothers and sisters?'


Without missing a beat, one little boy
answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'


~~~~~~~~~~~~


At Sunday School they were teaching
how God created everything,
including human beings. Little Johnny
seemed especially intent when they told
him how Eve was created out of one
of Adam's ribs.


Later in the week his mother noticed him
lying down as though he were ill, and
she said, 'Johnny, what is the matter?'
Little Johnny responded, 'I have pain
in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife.'


~~~~~~~~~~~~


Two boys were walking home from
Sunday school after hearing a strong
preaching on the devil. One said to the
other, 'What do you think about all this
Satan stuff?'


The other boy replied, 'Well, you know
how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably
just your Dad.'


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


You don't stop laughing because you
grow old. You grow old because you
stop laughing! Take heed and pass these
along to people who need a laugh.

Hiccups

A woman burst out of the examining room screaming after her young physician tells her she is pregnant. The director of the clinic stopped her and asked what the problem was. After she tells him what happened, the doctors had her sit down and relax in another room and he marched down the hallway where the woman’s physician was and demanded, “What is wrong with you? Mrs. Miller is 60 years old, has six grown children and nine grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?” The young physician continued to write his notes and without looking up at his superior, asked, “Does she still have the hiccups?”

A Christian

Several years ago, a preacher from out-of-state accepted a call to a church in Houston , Texas . Some weeks after he arrived, he had an occasion to ride the bus from his home to the downtown area. When he sat down, he discovered that the driver had accidentally given him a quarter too much change. As he considered what to do, he thought to himself,

You'd better give the quarter back. It would be wrong to keep it.' Then he thought , Oh, forget it, it's only a quarter, who would worry about this little amount? Anyway, the bus company gets too much fare; they will never miss it. Accept it as a 'gift from God' and keep quiet.'

When his stop came, he paused momentarily at the door, and then he handed the quarter to the driver and said, 'Here, you gave me too much change.' The driver, with asmile, replied, 'Aren't you the new preacher in town?' 'Yes' he replied.

'Well, I have been thinking a lot lately about going somewhere to worship. I just wanted to see what you would do if I gave you too much change. I'll see you at church on Sunday.' When the preacher stepped off of the bus, he literally grabbed the nearest light pole, held on, and said, 'Oh God, I almost sold your Son for a quarter.' Our lives are the only Bible some people will ever read. This is a really scary example of how much people watch us as Christians, and will put us to the test!

Always be on guard -- and remember -- You carry the name of Christ on your shoulders when you call yourself 'Christian.'

Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

I'm glad a friend forwarded this to me as a reminder. So, I choose to forward it to you - my friend.

God bless you; I hope you are having a wonderful day!

St. Porphyry of Gaza (353-421)

We go far back in history today to learn a bit about a saint whose name is not familiar to most of us in the West but who is celebrated by the Greek and other Eastern churches.

Born near Greece in the mid-fourth century, Porphry is most known for his generosity to the poor and for his ascetic lifestyle. Deserts and caves were his home for a time. At age 40, living in Jerusalem, Porphyry was ordained a priest.

If the accounts we have are correct, he was elected bishop of Gaza—without his knowledge and against his will. He was, in effect, kidnapped (with the help of a neighboring bishop, by the way) and forcibly consecrated bishop by the members of the small Christian community there. No sooner had Porphyry been consecrated bishop then he was accused by the local pagans of causing a drought. When rains came shortly afterward, the pagans gave credit to Porphyry and the Christian population and tensions subsided for a time.

For the next 13 years, Porphyry worked tirelessly for his people, instructed them and made many converts, though pagan opposition continued throughout his life. He died in the year 421.

Blessed John of Fiesole (c. 1400-1455)

The patron of Christian artists was born around 1400 in a village overlooking Florence. He took up painting as a young boy and studied under the watchful eye of a local painting master. He joined the Dominicans at about age 20, taking the name Fra Giovanni. He eventually came to be known as Fra Angelico, perhaps a tribute to his own angelic qualities or maybe the devotional tone of his works.
He continued to study painting and perfect his own techniques, which included broad-brush strokes, vivid colors and generous, lifelike figures. Michelangelo once said of Fra Angelico: “One has to believe that this good monk has visited paradise and been allowed to choose his models there.” Whatever his subject matter, Fra Angelico sought to generate feelings of religious devotion in response to his paintings. Among his most famous works are the Annunciation and Descent from the Cross as well as frescoes in the monastery of San Marco in Florence.

He also served in leadership positions within the Dominican Order. At one point Pope Eugenius approached him about serving as archbishop of Florence. Fra Angelico declined, preferring a simpler life. He died in 1455.

St. Conrad of Piacenza (1290-1350)

Born of a noble family in northern Italy, Conrad as a young man married Euphrosyne, daughter of a nobleman.
One day while hunting he ordered attendants to set fire to some brush in order to flush out the game. The fire spread to nearby fields and to a large forest. Conrad fled. An innocent peasant was imprisoned, tortured to confess and condemned to death. Conrad confessed his guilt, saved the man’s life and paid for the damaged property.

Soon after this event, Conrad and his wife agreed to separate: she to a Poor Clare monastery and he to a group of hermits following the Third Order Rule. His reputation for holiness, however, spread quickly. Since his many visitors destroyed his solitude, Conrad went to a more remote spot in Sicily where he lived 36 years as a hermit, praying for himself and for the rest of the world.

Prayer and penance were his answer to the temptations that beset him. Conrad died kneeling before a crucifix. He was canonized in 1625.